I haven't been good at all keeping up with this blog. Things happen.
My heart has been broken a few times. I've struggled with depression and trying to get the right meds I can tolerate. Thankfully, my NP never gave up and I got a genetic test showing which I can tolerate best. It's something I took years ago; however, the dosage I tolerate now is less than half what I took then.
Then there is Paul's health issue. Heart cath yesterday. One stent. Cardiac rehab to be scheduled. Once that's done and Dr. Blossom clears him, he'll have a PSMA/PET for his prostate cancer.
I've prayed for God to give me strength each day and I have felt stronger and hopefully less stressed (med) and that helps so much. I've started doing more things - back in Sunday School, Bible study on Tuesdays, book club once a month. Other small steps - JAM at the Courthouse Museum. Cousins' lunch planned for June 9. Small steps.
My creativity is sorely lacking, although I've been reading more. I have Farmers Wife quilt I want to finish and a Christmas junk journal I want to make for Amy. I spend too much time watching other people make art (Luise, Barbara, Pam).
I don't always hold it together. Sometimes I cry and curse. I finished reading "Becoming Mrs. Lewis" about Joy Davidman and C S Lewis. Christianity is progressive and ever-reaching, learning, trying, asking for forgiveness, trying again, asking for more love for Jesus, trying to grasp what He did for me on that Cross. I'm in a different place than I was even a year ago, certainly a different person.
Both my kitties, my girls, my sweet girls, have died, withing 9 days of each other. I found Lucy outside near the road (but not near enough to have been hit), in the rain and it broke my heart. Thelma had cancer, Jenni took out a cancerous kidney and Thelma was too weak, too sick to recover. Lucy died on Good Friday; Thelma's surgery was on Good Friday, and we/I had her euthanized on May 16 at the vet clinic. They are both side by side now with Dexter in the back yard near the garage. Breaks our hearts over and over. (I can sat Theo for Sher a couple of weeks ago when she was traveling. She and I both wanted me to keep him but P said no. No? A cat doesn't require the constant attention a dog does. But No reigned and so all we have now is three hummingbirds, a possum that eats scraps at night, possibly a fox I've never seen, but Amy has, and deer that occasionally cross the low garden.
Amy began working at Memorial park mid March I think. She likes it much better than she ever thought she would. I'm so glad she's working again, on a schedule and making good money.
These things - journals - are said to be better if handwritten, but I can do this faster at times. Maybe I'll show up here again sooner than another year.
My sweet girls. How I miss them.
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