Our Sunday School lesson this morning was on Jeremiah 3. Reading ahead and keeping the lessons in context, you can just see our nation reflected in these chapters. God's warnings, His patience, Israel's rebellion, His warnings, warnings, yet so much patience. Unconditional love. That hit a place in my thoughts as we (P and I) go through these days of doctors' visits, procedures, medicines, aging, diminished abilities. Do I love him unconditionally? (Does he love me that way? I believe so. I had really never thought about it like that and we've been married almost 55 years!) But do I? Do I serve him with a willing heart, or do I resent things I need to do, and some I know he can do and will just ask me to do them? We as humans get tired, we have limits, we are selfish about "our" time. I should say "I." I get tired, I hurt, too; I have limits; I push when I don't want to push. But I've been on the other side, too, and when you don't feel good, when things are uncertain, I have closed down my spirit, sometimes even my soul. It isn't a good place to be and you know how you feel when you are well and able. It's very hard to be in these "foreign lands" of aging and inability and sickness.
Em's Bible. Inductive Study Bible I'm pretty sure, as she does those studies. So well marked; her mind so sharp and full of the history of the Old Testament. Have I only pretended to study? Have I only searched for the "right" answers to get a lesson finished? Have I let God speak to me through His Word? Here I am at 75, and I have learned a lot, but not nearly as much as I should have or wanted to. Do I think my time here is totally unlimited? We do not have a rehearsal life. This is our life. This is my life.
Lord, help me love You more.
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