Sher is home, home, home! Today (1-4-2019) she's working on her house, Glen Cottage. Moving furniture around in that tine space, but it'll look like a doll house once she's finished. She spent the night with us the first and second, her house last night, and is working into the evening today. The two nights she was here we watched two slapstick funny movies - I sorely need the belly laughs and realize how good it is to watch a funny movie with someone who gets as tickled as me! "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," Steve Martin and John Candy; "Christmas Vacation," Chevy Chase, Randy Quaid. I'd already watched both of them in the last couple of weeks. We also got caught up on "The Young and the Restless," her soap, her escape from reality after a day's work. She's been watching it 40 years. Everyone has been married to everyone else at least once. Now Nicki is in a coma in the hospital... I could accidentally get interested in it if I let myself. For a while, she'll be here occasionally to catch up since she won't have TV service for a bit.
Yesterday I lost my mind temporarily over getting locked out of my ATT account. Long story. But I got an appointment for this morning and the young man got it all fixed up again. Love tech when it works, go insane when it doesn't. Paul and I also went to Wally World for coffee, peanut butter, chips, tomatoes, onions, etc. Some items for the Welcome Home/Retirement party for Sher Sunday. Family invited; hamburgers, hot dogs. Marsha's bringing potato salad; I'll open a couple big cans of baked beans.
New Year's Eve Paul and I went to Tommy and Carol's for NYE party. So much fun - played games (Apples to Apples and a pictionary version of gossip). Laughed so much. See my rose cheeks? I look so like my cousin Patsy here. Carol on the left, Sandra on the right. David in the far right background.
I got my 2017-2018 blog ordered today. I hardly wrote in 2017 and not as much as usual last year.
Something I wrote around Thanksgiving. One of my bad days, but goals to try for. I've already blown a lot of them. But I've also done several!
Increasingly carrying around the weight of an Old Woman who is trying to obliterate the real me. Pain, fatigue and a bad attitude, critical and sometimes blasphemous thought life are what I carry around like a weight attached to my back, legs, neck, brain, body. Instead of using good energy for productive things, mine is used so often for keeping the Old Woman under control. She is so heavy, sad, critical, unhelpful, doubtful, even very lazy at times, undecided and forgetful. A sour heart at times. I say I won’t give up. Give up what? She is a formidable enemy. How can I think “creatively” when all I think about is how to make the pain stop, how to keep up with necessary duties, household chores, being with people, how much she will allow me to do, if I’ll get a fair to good night’s sleep? Measuring my energy out in spoonfuls. Socializing is exhausting at times. Wondering how long I’m able to stay up, how far I can travel, how often I can commit. Lights and noise bombard the Old Woman making it impossible to go to a movie theater. Bitterness is always ready to rear it’s ugly head with sharp and sarcastic words. Self criticism and being critical and short tempered with Paul especially.
What can I do?
Pray
Be in God’s Word
Meditate
Stop apologizing
Give my bitterness to God, who wants it (imagine that. But it’s true)
Ask Him for transitional/accepting grace.
Do what I can and stop worrying and fretting over what I can’t
Stop expecting ppl to understand unless they have been there
Don’t list complaints to everyone
Create-sew, draw, color, paint, play with paper, scrapbook, take pictures, do calligraphy, free motion quilting, Farmers Wife
Read good books, all the ones I missed, re-read others I loved as a child
Exercise as much as possible
Eat more healthy
Take Advil if I need and stop worrying about side effects
Drink water
Stop fighting something for nerves & take it before my legs and back spasms (sleeplessness) makes me cry and frantic
Declutter
Watch funny movies
Be my own person and don’t compare
Be thankful
Do something for someone even a card often
Stay off iPhone more
Don’t listen to “news”
Enjoy nature even from my windows
Listen to music
Grieve when necessary but don’t stay in it
Be thankful for what I did have and what I still have
Write, journal
Stay in touch with old friends
Love my family
Push through the tiredness when I can but know when to rest and know it’s okay to do both
So we are blessed to be here in this new year. Look for the "wonder." Be thankful. These other things, too, shall pass. If this year flies by like 2018...
This is January 4, Goobie's birthday - 1900. I imagine she thought how fast the years passed, too.
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