CLAY AND WATTLES

How Oscar Trained Me

In the mornings our routine is that I make Oscar's breakfast (dry food/canned food/teaspoon of olive oil for dry skin). And I heat it in the microwave - it's not what you think - the canned food mixes much better if it's warm. Well, maybe he does like it warm. He eats most of this, usually leaving a few nuggets in his bowl. Then he asks for little bites of my breakfast. Being obedient, I oblige. Then I give him two or three little "baby" carrots. "There's your carrots," I tell him. He looks at me, then at them, and decides he'll eat them. Some of them. This morning I told him they were there on his run and told him, "Come on." He brought one to the bathroom and ate on that rug. (He's trained me to put all his food on a rug.) I know. The bathroom rug. He's a dog. Remember he has a built-in wash cloth and it has been used in much worse places. He's gonna bring the carrot with him anyway. Back and forth one or two more times until he's eaten his carrots while I put on makeup.

Now that it's still dark outside, I wait until just before I leave for his potty break. He sometimes will go to the back door when I turn the lock; most times, not. He gets in his kennel when I say, "Go peepee." This is where I obediently go get a Beggin' Strip and pinch off a bit for him, which brings him out of his kennel. Then usually he will go out the back door without having me give him another bite until he's finished his business. He finds his spot, does his thing, glancing around to be sure I'm where he's told me to stand and wait. After he's finished, he races back to the door and would run headlong into it if I didn't open it for him. Then I obediently give him the rest of the Beggin' Strip.

Not wanting to leave him without a little treat, I usually leave a couple of doggie cookies on his rug so he can have them during the day, or before Paul comes home for lunch. Yes, he has trained me to do this, too.

I think he's gaining weight again. It's the olive oil. But we don't walk quite as much as we used to. That's something I untrained for when I broke my leg, and now it's getting cold, and we stay inside when possible. When he does get his feet wet, why then he's trained me to either rinse his paws off or dry them so his little toesies don't get cold. Here I have to say that Paul is a prince to walk him in all sorts of weather. Neither he nor Oscar like to get out in the rain, so I do so appreciate this. I would say I've trained Paul to do this, but that wouldn't be right. I think Oscar did that, too.

He has us wrapped around his little dew claw.

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I asked Paul to bring in Philo tonight. It takes up about one-third of what's left of floor space in the den/office. I Googled ways to prune it, just hating the thought of hurting it or worse. It can be pruned, but the better way seems to be to divide it, which I may do (or get Paul to help me) Saturday. Then I'd still have a couple or three big leaves (leafs? I'm never sure) and it would be safe from the winter weather. But then there's the part that gets left out - I can hardly stand for anything not to root that's been cut away from the main plant. Mama would be amazed at how huge her spindly little plant became.